Saturday, December 25, 2010

Twas the Night Before Christmas at Walmart

I haven't updated the blog in a while, even though I have plenty to blog about.  Oh well, it will make it onto my New Year's resolutions.  In the mean time, here is my take on a holiday classic.


Twas the Night Before Christmas at Wal-Mart

‘Twas the night before Christmas at Wal-Mart, and all through the store,


Not a shopper was stirring; we chased them all out the door.

The last few hours spent helping customers on last-minute shopping sprees,

Hunting for video games and for big screen TV’s.

As closing pages were made, shopper’s faces filled with dread,

“Help me find a present for Great-Uncle Fred!”



The merchandise flew out the door with great speed,

Along with wrapping paper and food for the Great Christmas feed,

Panic showed in the faces of the last straggling few,

As they searched for a gift, not knowing what they should do.

The cashiers were ready; they knew what to say,

“A gift card will be welcome under the tree Christmas day.”



At last we were finished, the shoppers sent away,

The money locked in the safe, and the shopping carts rounded up, not leaving a single stray.

When in the lounge arose a cheer, one would wonder what was wrong,

But it was just me breaking the CD that played Christmas song after song.

One would think Christmas music playing would be so much fun,

But it’s been on since Halloween, and we’re glad that it's done!



As the last cashier and greeter waited for their ride,

My partner Dusty stepped back inside.

The registers lay silent, no bells and no beeps,

He let out a yell as he made his final security sweeps,

His voice echoed off of the now empty walls,

Not even a walkie-talkie answered his calls.



He punched in his alarm code, and looked at the clock,

Then hurried outside as I turned my key in the lock.

The alarm arming tone sounded as we drove away,

Dusty leaned in and said, “Aren’t you glad we aren’t working on the Big Return Day?”

A few snowflakes fell as I drove out of sight,

Merry Christmas to all, and from Wal-Mart, good night!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

very good! And creepily accurate, according to Dusty! Hope you had a wonderful and relaxing Christmas!

Deb

d-anthony-brown said...

Ha ha... Can I break the Christmas CDs next year? People think I'm a cold hearted bastard when I say I hate Christmas music. Truth is, I don't like songs that have the following phrases: "tiny tots...", "we wish you...", "jingle bells...", "I'm dreaming..." etc. etc. etc.